Being Ella's Mom

It's been ten months since we met our darling Ella. She is the sunshine of our lives and has brought heaven into our home.
Obviously ten months of motherhood still places me in the rookie category, but this little girl has changed my life, altered my perspectives and illuminated my testimony of God's love.

When I was halfway through my pregnancy, I overheard a conversation that crushed me for a little while afterwards. Two people who I admire and respect were conversing, not realizing that I could hear everything they were saying, about how YOUNG I was to be having a baby (I am! It's true!), how quickly I was having a baby after getting married (It's true! It was fast!), and how that wasn't the particular life path that they would have chosen. Okay, so really not a big deal, right? AND, everything they said was totally and completely 100% true (#stereotypicalmormongirl.) For some reason, I fed into what I had heard and I started to doubt my ability to mother this baby girl that I had yet to meet.

I was only 21, and I didn't know what the heck I was doing.
I had dreams of traveling the world, studying art, and having a career.
Scott and I were newbies at the whole marriage thing, and we still had so much to learn (still do!)
I wasn't finished with school yet--I still had/have a couple of semesters to go.

I was so insecure about this upcoming change in my life. I felt incapable and inadequate. And I was terrified thinking of the new responsibilities I would have.

Now, 10 months later, I still sometimes feel inadequate and incapable. I am the most-frequent caller to the after-hours nurse at Ella's doctors office. I may or may not have frantically raced to the ER twice thinking that Ella was terribly ill just to be sent home by a kind doctor who probably laughed as I left after telling me that my baby was perfectly healthy. One time I let my baby lick a chocolate covered raisin and the next thing I knew I was giving her the Heimlich. I panic as I read blogs from moms who seem to have it all together, who's babies are singing songs and reading Jane Austen novels by six months old (jk, but sometimes it feels that way!) and who proudly proclaim that it only took them 5 days to get back to their pre-pregnancy weight. I sometimes get frustrated and want to cry when my baby poops on the carpet or when all she wants to do is play with computer cords and lick the bottom of all of the shoes in the house.

In short, you guys, I am dumb. I am so imperfect in my mothering. But being a mom, especially to my angel girl Ella, is more enriching and wonderful and rewarding than I could have ever imagined.

As I said earlier in the post, this little girl has come and filled my life with the light of God's love--for her, for me, and for my whole family. I am her mom, and I just can't explain how much I LOVE this girl! How could anyone love something more than I love my Ella girl? But someone does. Heavenly Father loves Ella so perfectly, so unconditionally, so much more than I could ever comprehend. Being her mom and feeling that parental (although imperfect) love for her has taught me so much about the love that God has for all of His children. Ella pinches her finger in a drawer and looks up at me with her sweet little sad face. And my heart melts and all I want to do is snuggle and kiss her and make it better. She takes a couple of steps towards me while her little face beams and I feel like my little one has just conquered the greatest feat ever. Her giggles are contagious and my heart breaks when she is sick or hurting. Even though I love her with my whole heart, my love for her is imperfect. But God's love for His precious girl is perfection.

As I watch my baby learn and grow, I can't help but feel like I am learning so much about how God feels not only about this precious spirit that He is entrusting me to raise, but also about His love for me. I am starting to think that that's what being a parent is all about. Feeling a tiny ounce of the perfect love Heavenly Father has for His children. He cheers us on, is happy when we make even one small step to come closer to Him, understands when we are hurting, and wants us to be happy and successful (even more than we can imagine!)

It makes me think that this whole experience as a parent is cyclical and, in turn, is showing me that He understands my shortcomings as a mother, that He is happy when I turn to him, and that He wants me to be successful. I am in awe of the opportunity He has given me to be a mother, and I am thankful that He is always there to help me, and to lift me from my imperfections (because I have SO many!)

Washington D.C.

Back in February, I got a little travel bug, and like 10 minutes later I was on the phone with Scott, explaining to him how badly I needed a getaway, and Southwest was having a phenomenal sale, and I REALLY wanted to go to Washington D.C. 

My mom happily agreed to watch Ella for a week, and we were sold! We booked our trip during Scott's break between semesters in August, and basically we just had the best time ever!! 

This is going to be the most boring blog post ever. Don't read it. Does anyone even read this blog? I don't know. I just want to document it for myself. It was just so great! 

We said goodbye to Ella (very emotional for the momma), but she was happy and spoiled at my mom and dad's house, so how could I worry about her? 

This was my first time to D.C., so we just did every touristy thing that we could. These were the highlights, in my opinion. 

 We started out the trip at George Washington's Mount Vernon. I LOVED being here. It was amazing to walk around the estate thinking about George Washington walking those same paths that I was! Mount Vernon sheds such a personal light on the nation's first, glorified leader, and I loved that. Also, try not to notice my selfie arm reflected in my sunglasses. Hehe, whoops. 

And just check out this view of the Potomac that Washington had as he stood on his own back porch. I couldn't help but think of him gazing over this river as he held the weighty decisions of the new nation on his shoulders. Seriously this picture doesn't even do it justice--so picturesque. 

As if being at Mount Vernon wasn't cool enough for one day, we had the chance to head over to Ford's Theater later on that afternoon. This place has to be one of my favorite parts of D.C. One of the coolest parts of the tour is the museum that exists in the basement of the theater. The museum houses the gun that John Wilkes Booth used to shoot Lincoln and several other artifacts that played roles in the different plots and events that took place during the night of Lincoln's assassination. We were also able to head across the street to the Petersen House where Lincoln died--pretty sobering. 

 The next morning, before our Capitol tour, we took a little detour to the Library of Congress. This was totally an afterthought. But I am so glad that we didn't miss seeing this absolutely breathtaking building. This is in the Thomas Jefferson building, but I felt like I was in Italy--it was so ornate, finely detailed, just amazing! So if you are reading this, and you want to go to D.C., don't miss walking into this beautiful building. 

 You can even take an elevator all the way up and look over the main reading room of the Library of Congress. My face in this picture sums up how I felt about that part. I am terrified of heights, and looking over the edge of that balcony totally gave me the freaks. But any normal person would have LOVED that overlook. It is literally breathtaking.

I had arranged through the office of my congressman to get a nice tour of the Capitol building. I was really excited about this part! The tour was kind of a flop because the rotunda is totally closed off due to the construction. I was really sad, and I wanted to see more! So I called back to the office and said, "Hey, I want to see more! How about the House chamber floor?" And they said okay! And that alone was worth the trip. It was amazing to be there, to think of all the things that have taken place in that very room. We just took a few minutes to soak it all in. That was definitely a highlight!

 My favorite spot in D.C. We were able to book a 3 hour tour of Arlington, and it was hands down the most interesting, moving, sacred part of our trip.

There aren't many words to describe what it's like to be here. 

The rest of the day we hit up the monuments. It was a long day. Between Arlington and all of the monuments, we walked 17 miles. It was awesome. 

 Also, I just found this picture. I think it's the best one of the whole trip!! Glad I found it. We look fab!

 The Jefferson Memorial was my fave. So massive and so Jeffersonian--that Neoclassic architecture! that dome! that symmetry! My little art historian-wannabe heart loved it.

 I also LOVED the MLK Memorial. Also, at this point, aren't you loving the creative poses in all of our selfie photos? We nailed it.

 WWII

 Korean War Memorial--I also loved this one! 

 We feel artsy fartsy about this photo. 

It was a really fun (and sweaty) day! The Lincoln Memorial was pretty neat, too.

That night we were feeling adventurous and we had some spare time, so I went out on a whim and said, "Let's take a bus out to Georgetown!" Scott said yes, and we were both so happy that we went! It was nice to have a chill, relaxed evening exploring that darling area! 

Seriously, look at it! 

Neatest little part of D.C.

I also had to include this picture, because how could we say no to a Georgetown Cupcake? Best cupcake I've ever had, no joke. Go get one. 

The next day, we had a catch-up day. We went to a couple of museums in the morning, and revisited the museums that we just felt like we didn't get enough time in. Yet, we still seriously missed so much! 1 week in D.C. is not enough time whatsoever. I guess it's just a good excuse to make Scotty take me back there again? ;) 

On our final day before heading out to catch our plane, we wrapped everything up by getting a peek at the White House.

 I had given up on selfies at this time. 

Sitting on a bench in Layfayette Square saying our goodbyes to Obama. JK, he probably wasn't even there (probably golfing). All jokes aside, this was a fun spot to finish out our trip! 

I think I've been pretty patriotic most of my life, having a pretty big love for all things American. But, oh man, I feel like that love has just multiplied after visiting this place! There is something so special about this city. I just LOVED this trip. 

**Also, can I just mention how amazing our host was? Scott's Uncle Mitch was so generous in letting us stay at his home (on Pennsylvania Ave!!) He was seriously so great--letting us stay there, lending us his car, making us dinner, giving us tips on how to get around, etc. We are so thankful for his hospitality! Seriously, the nicest guy! It was also so fun to meet and spend time with Scott's Aunt Becky and her sweet family! So many wonderful family members out there!  

  

This blog post is over, folks. #longestmostboringpostever

Our Graduate

 Our favorite guy graduated from BYU with his Bachelors Degree in Civil Engineering back in August. We are SO proud. And I am a grateful wife--he is such a hard working boy, and not to mention, he is pretty much a genius. We had a fun couple of days celebrating all of his accomplishments. And then, two weeks later he started school again. A year from now he'll be finishing his Masters Degree. Man is he diligent!! And I just love him so! 

 

 Gotta get the classic picture.

 I owe a lot to this wonderful lady for the amazing son she raised. Our little family is blessed because of her! 

My family came up, too. Fun times!

My little family. Ella was hammin' it up! 

I'm posting this photo for two reasons: 1) Cute little father-daughter moment 2) Ella's fat legs. So yummy.

We love you, Scotty!!

Our little Ella--9 months old

Basically this update is just a whole load of Ella pics-- just a tiny fraction of the photos I take (I probably take 20 pics of her a day, on average. I'm overly obsessed with this chick!) I can't believe she's 9 MONTHS OLD! Insert crying face.

 

Those chubby, saggy cheeks were weighing her down! Her cheeks are my favorite feature. Just so kissable....and squeezable. 

 Took a trip up to Temple Square. I couldn't get her to look up from the water long enough for a pic. It was so sweet to spend an evening there with my little fam bam.

 Don't let this picture deceive you! Usually by this time she would have already ripped out her death cry. Not an animal lover. At all.

 She has a little too much fun sitting in cardboard boxes. HA, we'll just say she has a stellar imagination. :) 

 Fist bump. (I literally LOL every time I see this picture.)

 Just going for a ride on a nice evening in Dammeron Valley, UT.

 We went to the State Fair. Ella will never know. She slept literally the ENTIRE time. 

Baby's first BYU football game (from the couch at home). I HAD to document! Also, who could resist that BYU onesie?

Cousin love. Aren't they adorable?! Ella LOVES being around kids!

 Snapping a photo with her handsome Uncle Christian as he headed out the door to his homecoming date. Ella is smitten with her uncles. 

Ella is in love with her new little friend. And he's like... whatevs. But he is SO cute, and they are only 1 week apart in age. We're arranging their first date...and marriage. 

I just adore this little girl! I love seeing her fun little personality emerge more and more everyday. She is a pure joy! She's becoming more attached and snuggly, but she's also social and gets pretty silly sometimes. And I can't forget the sass. This girl has got some serious sass. I can't get enough of her!

An Ella Update

This little girl rocks our world. Here are some pictures from the last few weeks: 

 

This little girl is the happiest when she's outside, although to be honest, she's happy most of the time! Lucky parents!!

Ella's new favorite spot in the house. She loves being able to see everything that's going on or to rule from her throne, either one works!

It's official, this little scooter is into EVERYTHING (that she shouldn't be into!) Seriously though, I pull her toys out, but she only wants the computer cord, the books on the shelf, or to be licking our shoes (building immunity). Whatevs. 

She's a curious little thing. And her gummy grins KILL ME. 

She loves to stand up. If we try have to her sit down, most of the time she stiffens her back and refuses. Girl has got some sass. 

Just workin on her fitness, and with perfect form, too! 

 She is just days away from crawling, and then my life will change drastically. 

She loves: clapping, waving, playing with her hands, eating (anything and everything), hearing her Poppy and Uncle Hayden sing the song that they made up for her (she honestly starts clapping every time she hears them start to sing it), pulling hair, and seeing herself in the mirror or on FaceTime (literally makes her stop crying every time). 

She is just such a heavenly little girl--so happy, so mild (most of the time). Basically she's the best thing ever.

I'm so lucky to be her mom!

Pioneer Day

July is such a fun month (especially if you live in Utah)-- 2 holidays just a couple of weeks apart!

Our Pioneer Day weekend was a dream! It was so much fun to spend so much time together! Scott's mom came up, so we were able to see her quite a bit!

We started out the day over at the park by our house for the Pioneer Day Extravaganza. Scott said to me while we were there: "I'm going to start counting up how many times you're saying, 

'This is SO cute!'" But for reals. It was the cutest thing--they had all sorts of pioneer games, a petting zoo, a farmer's market, a live bluegrass band! SO CUTE. Here's a pic of Ella checking out the goats. Okay, the goats didn't really phase her, she just loved looking at all of the kids.

We went home, made homemade ice cream, ran errands, met Scott's mom and step dad for fro-yo (because on holidays you can eat ice cream twice in one day, obviously), and then our little family went over to play at the park for a while. 

This chick isn't ever quite sure how she feels about swinging...

This is one of my most favorite pictures of Ella. Ahhh, she is just the best thing ever!

Now that we have a baby, I take like 5 million pictures wherever I go.

My two darling loves.

My husband is practically a child at heart, so that night the three of us lit off some sparklers and threw some pop-its. Partay! It really was such a fun day.

The next day we went up to Salt Lake with Scott's mom and step dad because they had gotten us all tickets to the Days of '47 Rodeo. I was a little bit nervous to take Ella because she tends to freak out over loud noises (or not-so-loud noises), but she did so well!

At first she was like, "What the heck is happening..."

Then she fell asleep. Haha girls gotta sleep when a girls gotta sleep!

When she woke up, she was pretty intrigued! 

 Just checking out those bull-riding scores (okay, really I have no idea what any of it means).

It was a great night! Thanks Becky and Steve!

This weekend was one for the books.